Just a Sci-Fi Kid Like Me

21st Century American Pastoralism

2026-01-25T18:43:08Z

I learned that there's a hashtag #MonthofDick on bluesky and sadly it is for people reading Moby Dick and not gay hockey.

I'm currently halfway through watching Heated Rivalry and picked up a different gay hockey romance just for curiosity's sake. A colleague has been on a mission to read ALL the hockey romances -- they've read 72 so far -- and wants to make 2026 the Year of Sapphic Hockey which I find great.

So I ended up joining a book club through my record store -- it's four of us altogether, I'm the only girl and relieved by how frankly pure the other guys are, and we had a sincere conversation mulling the popularity of hockey romances right now. All three guys are straight so they are earnestly puzzled, but in a "never would have thought, that's So Interesting" way as opposed to (derogatory), and so we were discussing the attractions of enemies-to-lovers and so on.

But then today I suddenly had the thought, imagining the academic world in 100 or 200 years, and the students who would be earnestly reading and studying 21st Century American Pastoralism, the flux of novels that took place in coffee shops, bookstores, and other cozy-but-in-real-life-more-stressful-than-charming locations, and how they would be interpreting that, and also of course the gay hockey. And I found imagining this world so INTERESTING because imagine this future student who had grown up with these charming novels and then doing research about sports injuries and everything and being so upset about it, like how Victorianists really end up deep-diving into all of the medical studies about STDs and stuff.

Anyway, these are the thoughts I have when the world is on fire.

comments

Falls Through the Door Like a Wild Wind

2026-01-01T03:36:01Z

HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAY YOU AND YOURS BE SAFE, WARM, AND WELL THS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

comments

Feelings about Frankenstein

2025-11-16T04:12:30Z

Let me tell you how much I loved FRANKENSTEIN. (Also: Scott loved it even more than I did and kept exclaiming and occasionally whimpering throughout because that boy has the book memorized so he had to just say some lines with the characters and stuff.)

This movie is quintessential del Toro and is beautiful on so many levels. It's frequently difficult to watch because Victor Frankenstein is a horrible fucking human being EVEN IN HIS OWN TELLING and that can 100% be triggering at parts. (But you also get to see Oscar Isaac briefly nekki so there is that.)

Called Adam (as he probably should be, although Mary didn't name him that), the Monster is a Disney princess who makes friends with mice and deer. From one of the trailers I was worried he and Elizabeth were gonna fuck, and honestly I kinda wish they had, it would have been good for both of them.

The real big change is in the ending, where GDT gives us the Xillennial dream of the abusive parent apologizing, which 1) was actually satisfying af and B) Guillermo were you hurt because this explains some stuff if so.

There's also a epigraph at the end that is by Byron, which the more I thought about it the more I like it. 1) Byron supported Mary more than Percy did tbh and 2) Byron also being abused af really lends some thematic something here.

Anyway, so many feels, 10/10, no notes.

comments

So it's October, huh?!

2025-10-26T19:43:00Z

I've been busy wrangling things at work per usual, and then this week discovered I need to get a root canal, which will be next week's adventures.

I've been trying to work on keeping my head in the dystopia, mostly with art. Which, I have very little of that to brag about, but I have some things in my notebooks and most of all in my mind, and it does help. I hope everyone out there is safe and keeping their sanity too.

comments

For posterity's sake

2025-08-27T03:53:23Z

I learned about the Taylor Swift engagement not from news alert pushes, not from fan friends or memes, but WHEN MY HUSBAND TEXTED ME ABOUT IT.

My main thoughts remain:

1) Scott heard about it first, and also this confirms he was a "secret" Swiftie all along (look I know he borrows my Swift albums and also ONLY my Swift albums)

and

2) because I'm horrible, my immediate reaction was "if they get divorced the follow-up album will be AMAZING."

comments

This is how we do it

2025-07-05T18:49:40Z

We observed the Fourth by watching Sinners and making Mexican food.

Sinners is also the best movie I have seen since Barbie. 12/10, no notes. Please Ryan Coogler, make more movies where Michael B Jordan kills white supremacists. I think that would do wonders for everyone.

comments

Happy Easter! (?!)

2025-04-20T19:45:47Z

So it's spring now. I am still snowed under. I took a long weekend just because and spent more of it napping than I meant to.

Me: I don't know why I'm so tired.
Friend: You have a lot going on, and also the Fascism.
Me: ... Yeah that would do it.

Mom was briefly in the hospital with a UTI, her vitals were stable, but she still had to ham it up, "WHY are you asking about my HEALTH INSURANCE? Can't you SEE I am on my DEATH BED?!"

I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday morning and I am going to ask him about anti-anxiety meds. (I'm on some mild anti-depressants but the anti-anxiety could be nice.) I am trying to deal with the capitalism in my brain scolding me about all the things I am behind on when in fact I do a lot and have more than earned a break.

I hope all of you are as safe as can be. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

comments

Rabbitholes

2025-02-08T04:25:32Z

Because reasons I've ended up in a rabbithole for Sappho and am reading chunks of a book on the history of sex in America and there is a WILD chapter about the Oneida Perfectionists that were this free love community in the 1840s and their thing was "complex marriage" where monogamy was discouraged

and like ejaculating was considered not good unless explicitly for procreation so basically it was a thing to just practice edging all the time??? And it was discouraged for women to have kids with only one guy and the community would react if people got too exclusive. And APPARENTLY they had rules that men with men was okay but they didn't mention women with women.

BUT GET THIS

THE KICKER

IS ONEIDA IS THE SAME FAMILY THAT GOES ON TO FOUND THE SILVERWARE COMPANY

But what absolutely fries my brain is like meanwhile Emily Dickinson is in Amherst and arguably wildly in love with her best friend/ future SIL or just SUCH GREAT PALS and blahblah New England Evangelism and literally if she had just gone up the eastern seaboard a bit more there would have been wild fucking orgies to say nothing of the Mormons

Anyhow where's the AU where Emily Dickinson goes to join a free love cult pls??

comments

Still Still Here!

2025-01-15T21:09:45Z

Just really busy with Real Life and trying to stay on top of things (usually with mixed success). I've also joined Bluesky this week because I feel like I'm watching my social media starting to stutter in the wake of politics and still want to keep track of people, so, here's hoping.

comments

I'm Still Here!!

2024-11-17T18:57:24Z

It's just Real Life has been Exhausting!!

comments

Fic: The Elf Maid and the Dwarvish Prince

2024-08-14T03:13:34Z

NB. Composed as an addendum to the story of Gimli and Legolas in the Appendices.

The Elf Maid and the Dwarvish Prince

It is said that in earlier times that there was another such pair of friends, although they were not borne of battle. In the last days of Eregion when the children of Eru and the children of Aulë had not yet come to their strife, a minor daughter of the Gwaith-i-Mírdain was chance acquainted with a Dwarvish prince from Mount Gundabad in those days before it fell to the orcs.

( Read more... )

comments

Cait's Covid Fever Dream Theater

2024-08-12T03:21:45Z

In the latest episode of Cait's Covid Fever Dream Theater, it was SDCC highlights of things that do not exist. The two the imaginary fandom of brain were the most excited about were the announcements of the Firefly reboot and the sneak peek of Disney's Hamilton.

Sadly, despite the excitement and the participation of the Jim Henson Company, the Firefly reboot just looked weird. The cast were all newbies and it was hella controversial that there were still no Asian characters, although at this point everyone could speak passable Mandarin. There was a lot of speculation about the political implications of all this.

Meanwhile, Disney's Hamilton looked amazeballs although the trailer was the entirety of the wedding sequence. There was lots of speculation about how LMM was gonna handle putting the whole musical into an 80 minute children's film, and the answer was that the time frame would be almost entirely during his tenure of Treasury Secretary. On the plus side none of the sad bits, on the negative side, wow this was gonna be a film about legislation and marriage. But Disney was going old school and doing real animation for it and LMM had written a whole new Disney musical so we were all stoked af.

... I hate the cough syrup so much but it makes life interesting.

comments

It was, perhaps, inevitable

2024-08-09T03:01:48Z

Scott and I finally caught Covid. Most likely from a friend who went to a con.

Tonight we were feeling sorry for ourselves and decided to go full RotK: DO YOU REMEMBER THE TASTE OF STRAWBERRIES, FRODO? NO, SAM, I DON'T REMEMBER THE TASTE OF FOOD, OR WATER, OR THE TOUCH OF GRASS!

It's a good thing we're stuck together, we'd drive everyone else in the world batshit.

comments

Notes for later: Material cultures of Middle Earth

2024-07-27T22:08:24Z

Because reasons I decided I needed to rewatch RoP and I have an all-new question:

Where did Galadriel get paper in Valinor?

Consider what paper is made of: Modern papers are primarily wood pulp which means killing trees which was a big no-no for Tolkien. It looked thick and white which means it could have a cloth fiber source which, at the beginning of the universe, implies a particular trade and reuse of textiles. (If they had had Eastern style papers made of kozo leaves that would have been interesting and easy to do!)

ALSO this distinguishes from the parchment vellum eg. animal skins used in Numenor! AND by the Harfoots!

While Elrond in Lindon is writing on paper that looks super papyrusey.

comments

"Hmm" or something like it

2024-06-23T19:18:54Z

I took a whole week of staycation and did very little beyond sleep, play records, read, and play video games. So I feel calmer than previously.

Let's see: Todd's Mom died; she didn't wake up from her surgery and she'd made her wishes known, so after a week she was taken off the ventilator. He said that despite her wishes it made no one feel less shitty. The last week and change he has been involved in memorial and funeral planning and stuff.

My Mom's not well and I was thinking about how I should try to be more thoughtful about "present" about our interactions, and yet she is still her same awful self, so that's... something.

My friend with breast cancer has been to multiple appointments and is opting for a double mastectomy with reconstructive surgery. On the plus side once that's done she need never wear bras again. Although she also noted before this she had JUST bought new ones which are expensive, so fucking real life man.

My boss came back from leave and then went on leave again for surgery and she is ... herself. I am part of a cohort to receive "executive coaching" which starts next week and I'm kinda like "so are there plans to give me any kind of real authority or am I just here to be counted?" I don't know.

Did I tell you guys I got a record player? Scott bought it for me because watching me dither endlessly is apparently exhausting. I've spent the last two months getting records and enjoying listening to them: a mix of recommendations, happenstance, and things I already love. I entertain the local record store clerks with my choices. Example: This week I bought Taylor Swift's Folklore, Mdou Moctar's Nigerien EP No. 1, and The Goo Goo Dolls' rerelease of their first album when they were still punk. The clerk, a grizzled old dude who is actually pretty entertaining if you get him going, surveyed them, paused, and said, "Okay, you take the award for most diverse collection. I have never seen this combo before. Good for you!"

Todd calls record collecting Emotional Support Vinyl and he started during the pandemic. He is fucking brilliant. It's been soothing as hell these last weeks.

comments

This Fucking Week

2024-06-08T04:48:57Z

My best friend's mom is in the hospital having surgery for a brain aneurism, and we have been texting as he has waited hours after hours for updates.

My other best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer on Wednesday and has an appointment with a surgeon on Monday.

I continue to be overwhelmed and just try to help.

comments

Achievement unlocked

2024-05-14T02:19:27Z

When you tell your therapist why you have anxieties because of specific family traumas and she gets so outraged on your behalf she doesn't know what to do, so you tell her to turn Linkin Park up on high, and then 15 minutes after your session she messages to say that yeah, that helped, and also "In the End" is a great song.

Yeah it is, now put on NUMB!

comments

It Never Rains But It Pours

2024-04-18T00:58:09Z

In the past five days:

1) My Mom went into the hospital with some serious confusion relating to what turned out to be sepsis from a kidney infection. She's doing much better with antibiotics and was released yesterday.

2) I had a follow-up with my doctor, who confessed to mystification with my bodily malfunctions -- he opened his clinic in 1984 and I was born in 1981, he has literally been doing this my entire life -- and he came up with three pages of possible tests and such. In particular he wants to do a laparascopy where they'd go in with a camera and look at all my innards and video it and see what's what. I am so not thrilled with this notion. But I need to think on all things.

3) My boss's daughter passed away last night -- long time expected, and now I am the head of the unit for the foreseeable, and so all of today was endless emails where I think about all the things no one else can think of, like making sure I can approve timesheets so all my coworkers can get paid.

I am so, so tired.

comments

Blink

2024-03-02T18:52:54Z

I know where the past two months went, but they were minor eternities all the same. There was the day of frightening ice, and there was the day of doctor's phone calls, and there were days dark and bright spent with my bestie doing our little poetry workshops.

I am so overwhelmed with real life but I am doing my best, and as ever there's no way out but through.

comments

Happy New Year!!

2024-01-02T03:49:13Z

May you all be safe, healthy, and happy in the new year!!!!!!!! <3

comments

How is it almost Christmas already?!

2023-12-17T19:46:51Z

I've been meaning to write a post, it's just that I don't have anything real to say right now. I continue to tread water and keep swimming. Yesterday I had a bad mental health day and texted Todd (Scott was away traveling), who frets about the psychological load I am carrying with regards to health/work/family stuff. I dutifully go to my therapist each week, but the reality is that I am Not Good about emotional vulnerability and it is what it is.

At least we can stay home for the holidays this year. I have a doctor's appointment on the 27th for an ultrasound to make sure I don't have any blockages or anything before my next round of stuff, since I haven't had one of those in a while (I was clear last time, so knock wood).

Currently reading the Dutli biography of Osip Mandelstam, because while super depressed reading stuff about Soviet dissident writers who get sent off to die in the Gulag ... provides perspective? Or something?

comments

The Closest to Internet Famous I'll Ever Be

2023-11-08T17:36:02Z

Quoted in a BBC article about Shakespeare's lost play Love's Labor's Won:

The 420-year-search for Shakespeare's lost play

comments

Conferencing

2023-10-08T17:17:39Z

About to go to my first in-person conference since before the pandemic--flying out Wednesday and back Sunday. I will get to see beloved friends and colleagues. I will give the most disorganized paper of my career, and it will be fine. One way or another.

Friday night I got the new covid vax and spent all of yesterday in bed with fevers and chills. I am glad my immune system is working, but man. So today I am tiredly doing all my chores while feeling incredibly sore.

I am so overwhelmed, but no way out but through.

comments

About that Roman Empire Trend

2023-09-16T22:09:54Z

How often do men think about ancient Rome? Quite frequently, it seems.

I asked the boys:

Scott: Um, probably once a day when I think of quotes by Marcus Aurelius.

Todd: Okay. Probably every few weeks, or once a month, when I teach about the Vindolanda tablets.

comments

Today

2023-09-12T01:56:53Z

1) A memorial of sorts: Over half my life has been spent in a security state.

2) An undergraduate came in who said she had an assignment to look at a book in the collection. I showed her how to find things in the catalog, she identified something to look at, I got her registered in the system and pulled the book for her. I was doing our usual bits of "leave the book in the cradle, it's safe to take pictures with no flash, do you need any paper for notes?" and she finally said, "Um. What do I ... do ... with it?" I wonder what expression I was unable to repress, because she became hugely apologetic, and I asked what did her professor's assignment want her to do, and she had no idea. Bless the poor child.

comments