Just a Sci-Fi Kid Like Me

I Was Not Expecting That

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 17:15:17 GMT

Back from the con, still exhausted. I was not prepared for how grueling it would be, surrounded by hundreds of people and standing in lines repeatedly. But I also see how addicting they can be, and now understand how people can make a point of going year after year--the little highs of connection were startling.

Some examples:

- The unexpected tactility of actors. I was not expecting to getting little unasked for touches? Kim Rhodes patted my back after the op; Jared Padalecki and Sebastian Roche both patted my shoulder in farewell. For my J2 op I had just asked the boys to look intensely over my shoulder at my notebook (in which I had written "Very Serious Supernatural Research!!" and where I pointed to "The answer to this week's mystery is right here!!" and which three different handlers checked before the boys saw it) and Jared put his hand on my back and his head right by my shoulder, like, his cheek was touching my hair, y'all.

- Actors' expressions up close! Misha-as-Cas gave me a small little smile in farewell--which is apparently unusual when he's in Cas mode. (I did the same book pose with him.) I also told him in the autograph line that I wrote a paper comparing his poetry to Mary Wroth and he looked up at me with his big gummy smile and said "No way!!" and then I got a heart next to his signature. (Other people got the heart too, but not everyone did.)

- Verbal reciprocations?! A woman a few spaces ahead of me in the autograph line said "I love you, Jared!" and he said "I love you too!" So I did the same thing and he responded with equal sincerity. When I was an attention-starved youngling this would have tilted the axis of my world. As an adult, and knowing the performativity inherent in it, he's still on a rather short list of people who have said that to me.

I went in with the plan of this being the only SPN con I ever do. And yet I 100% see the temptation to return.

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Adventures Ahead!

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 18:28:02 GMT

Three years ago I bought tickets to the annual Supernatural convention in Chicago. It has been postponed twice due to covid, but now it's finally happening. I'm treating the thing kinda like a bucket list item: I bought photo op tickets and a gold membership so I get to go to extra panels and stuff. Thankfully I will be meeting up with one of my long-time fandom friends and we'll be roommates and she'll help me practice poses for the ops. (I want good pictures!!) I've been doing laundry and packing and the nerves are starting to settle in. Well, wish me luck!

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SPN Fandom Pushes Back

Sun, 22 Nov 2020 02:54:15 GMT

Fans are of course rejecting the writers' reality and substituting their own. (Rhetorical question: Why are so many show endings just bad and lazy these days? Honestly endings aren't THAT hard FFS.) They are also doing charity work: The Castiel Project is donating to The Trevor Project and Dean Winchester is Love is donating to NAMI. So far they have collectively raised over $40k in 24 hours.

ETA: The Sam Winchester Project is for emergency assistance for college youth.

~

The thing I think that really got me about the ending is how fucking depressing it was on a show that has actually engaged with dealing with depression. Over the years the characters have dealt with nonfunctional and suicidal depression, as well as just constantly wrangling with despair and hopelessness. The episode started with the characters aimless in their "new Normal", moved onto what really felt like Dean *choosing* to die and Sam *choosing* to let him, and then while Dean is puttering around in Heaven Sam is going through the motions for decades. Now, they say that Covid presented problems with shooting the finale, which I believe, but FFS there are ways around that: They could have shown video calls with other characters checking on Sam, they could have done sound effects and offscreen reaction shots to give the impression of character interaction. By not choosing to do that, they basically had two characters give into depression, which, as someone with her share of mental issues, is a fucking punch to the gut.

Anyway. There's loads of fix-it fics and video edits to, well, fix things. Fandom is always ours, and not theirs. So.

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Signalboost: Letter to the OTW Regarding Racism in Fandom

Sat, 20 Jun 2020 18:34:12 GMT

I've caught snippets of this building the last couple weeks, but hadn't caught all of it, and of course this has been an ongoing issue for YEARS. If you are active in fandom and/or fan studies, and use AO3, please consider signing:

Open Letter to the OTW on Racism in Fandom

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Fandom Meme

Mon, 04 May 2020 17:47:59 GMT

From minoanmiss

Pick a character you know I know, and ask me to answer these questions about them:

1. How I feel about this character

2. All the people I ship romantically and/or sexually with this character

3. Favorite gen relationship(s) for this character

4. My unpopular opinion about this character

5. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

6. Random pet theory about this character that you won't convince me is not true.

7. A song or piece of music I associate with this character.

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Bookmark: The Importance of Preserving Fan Creator Biographical Data

Tue, 18 Feb 2020 02:09:47 GMT

Socknography, if you will.

Bookmarking for later when my brain works.

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Indulgence

Wed, 29 May 2019 03:49:25 GMT

So I'm not much of a con person--it's a social anxiety thing, plus the fact that as much as I like certain actors, in general I would not want to be in a room with them.

That said. I've kind of periodically thought about going to a Supernatural con for years. And this year, just before the show's ending was announced, I agreed to go to Chicon with one of my fan friends. Photo ops went on sale this week, and I bought three, because might as well...go all the way, I think. (I bought one with J2, one with Misha as Castiel, and one with Misha.) Now I'm waiting for the Non-Absurdly-Expensive tickets to go onsale.

I feel ridonkulously indulgent. I recognize I am not spending near as much as some people do on these things, but on the other hand I'm not used to spending money on myself outside of immediate needs and work stuff. And my buddy is going to help me practice photogenic looks so I can get good pics. (My plan is to take a large 19th c. Shakespeare I have and do a pose where I am pointing to something in it, as if I am helping the boys with research. I am overly excited about this and will totally put the pics in my office.)

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SPN Ending in a Year

Sun, 24 Mar 2019 00:27:32 GMT

I was going to post about my awesome first week at work, but then late yesterday came the news about S15 being the end of Supernatural. Which....on the one hand shouldn't have been a surprise, because that's a damn long time, and yet kind of was anyway, because it has been so good and with good ratings lately.

My favorite comment thus far is, "Anyone else notice that spn is ending exactly 10 years later than it was supposed to? Like alright, ‘fess up. Who made a crossroads deal?"

Tumblr is a mess/a little scary about it. A LOT of AKF folks talking about how the show saved their lives and so on. I'm a little worried there might be an actual spate of suicides when it's over. I hope not, but....SPN fandom is an intense, scary place.

I'm sad, and think I would be sadder were it not for the aforementioned awesome week. I do worry about the hole it will leave in my life though....even accounting for periods when I stopped watching and then came back, it's been a part of my life for a long time, and its absence will be felt.

At least there's always fandom...

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Not a Book Review: The Fandom by Anna Day

Wed, 18 Jul 2018 04:32:15 GMT

I have a weakness for books about fandom. This one had some great ideas but problematic execution. Basically a bunch of not!HungerGames fans find themselves transported to the world of the not!HungerGames and the only way home, maybe, is for the heroine to live out the story, including the obligatory romantic triangle and the tragic death of the main character/her. Hijinks ensue.

Now, this is all hella formulaic for 350 pages, and then the last thirty throws in a wrench, because it's basically about how the collective power of fandom can rewrite texts. Not!PresidentSnow is aware of this and 1) was aware of the ickier parts of fandom that romanticized the baddies, so he was trying to push that aspect of fandom to basically become canon, and this somehow made 2) the actual author kill herself, so the death of the author (!) ended up empowering all the fan authors. Basically the last chapters take on fan theory and toxic fandom and I dig it, and wish that had been way more of the book.

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Guest Conversations!

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 19:45:49 GMT

I was a guest speaker on several episodes of Sci-Fi Lab to talk with DJ and Harper about the history of fandom with my friend and colleague Karen Viars. Much fun was had!

Episode 6: Fandom, pt.1: The Beginning:

Episode 7: Fandom pt.2 The Wrath of Mod:

Episode 8: Fandom pt.3 Curative Robots vs. Transformative Pirates

Episode 9: Fandom pt.4 Follow the Bouncing Disclaimer:

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Eureka Moment: Purity Wank

Tue, 07 Mar 2017 03:17:34 GMT

I just had a eureka moment about why purity wank (whether political or fannish) bugs the crap out of me: It's pretty much always, *always* about kicking down, about how the author gets to or justifies feeling superior, and never ever about actually doing something constructive or actually helping any one person or group.

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