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Review: "Lost" episode 2
Sep. 30th, 2004 09:27 pmThis show had some serious potential. Still does in its own creaky way. But you know what really bugs me about Lost is the fact that its a survivor show where you don't want them to survive. Cos, quite frankly, even the now person-sized hobbit is a ding-dong.
This show is an excellent argument for Darwinism. I mean, really. In their next and third week, the 48 survivors of a horrible plane crash in some place that looks a hellalot like New Zealand, are going to realize that maybe they should start hunting for food in order to survive.
Well gee. Ya think?
I mean, Really. I guess they were going for a microcosm thing cos they have a Middle Eastern Iraqi guy, a Korean couple who don't speak English (so it's a lot like "Lost in Translation" but without actually being interesting or amusing), a fat white guy, a token pair of African-Americans, and a helluva lot of stupid white folks.
Sooo, none of these people have a cell phone? If it didn't have a signal, at least they'd have batteries for...something. They genuinely have no clue where they are? Cos you'd think if they knew their destination they'd have, oh, I dunno, a CLUE, however vague. They conduct some token and mildly gory triage, but other than that, the ugly people are mostly off-screen, the prettier people are stripping their clothes off and sunning themselves or looking worried, and the inconsequential people ("Old Man With Cut On Forehead," "Small Child" etc) sit around playing checkers and comic books.
Ookay. So while the three main characters urgently make plans to take that one radio they have up the highest mountain to try for a signal and get messy climbing, everyone else does...nothing. No one builds a shelter, hunters for food, does anything resembling a recon or skills or objects inventory. The Doctor character makes a show of going through luggage looking for pills so he can perform surgery on a blessedly unconscious and chiseled fellow, and the Korean Guy makes...something...that he offers to people and no one but Knocked-Up-Chick takes (it makes her baby kick).
And so the adventure continues.
Oh and they kill a polar bear (hey how 'bout that as a food source? huh? huh?).
Right now let me tell you what they need to do. Should you miraculously survive a horrible plane crash and wake up in New Zealand, you should
1) Perform triage. Put the dead folk far away, so a) you don't have to look at them and freak out, b) should you get rescued they won't be messed up too much, c) should you not get rescued they'll all be there so all you have to do is throw some dirt and rocks on them.
2) Skill and object inventory. Find out who knows how to do what and what all you have. Send nature-knowing people into the woods for recon and food-gathering and the grunts to constructing some sort of shelter. All clothing and food items should be rationed equally.
3) Construct base-camp and organize hunting and cooking crews.
4) When you figure out the coast guard ain't coming, assign recon teams. Make contact schedules--give people a week--three and a half days to look around, three and a half to get back. Should you have to evacuate, have a pre-arranged subtle code in effect for new location(s).
5) If you're lucky some of you will survive. If not you will all die. Good luck!
This show is an excellent argument for Darwinism. I mean, really. In their next and third week, the 48 survivors of a horrible plane crash in some place that looks a hellalot like New Zealand, are going to realize that maybe they should start hunting for food in order to survive.
Well gee. Ya think?
I mean, Really. I guess they were going for a microcosm thing cos they have a Middle Eastern Iraqi guy, a Korean couple who don't speak English (so it's a lot like "Lost in Translation" but without actually being interesting or amusing), a fat white guy, a token pair of African-Americans, and a helluva lot of stupid white folks.
Sooo, none of these people have a cell phone? If it didn't have a signal, at least they'd have batteries for...something. They genuinely have no clue where they are? Cos you'd think if they knew their destination they'd have, oh, I dunno, a CLUE, however vague. They conduct some token and mildly gory triage, but other than that, the ugly people are mostly off-screen, the prettier people are stripping their clothes off and sunning themselves or looking worried, and the inconsequential people ("Old Man With Cut On Forehead," "Small Child" etc) sit around playing checkers and comic books.
Ookay. So while the three main characters urgently make plans to take that one radio they have up the highest mountain to try for a signal and get messy climbing, everyone else does...nothing. No one builds a shelter, hunters for food, does anything resembling a recon or skills or objects inventory. The Doctor character makes a show of going through luggage looking for pills so he can perform surgery on a blessedly unconscious and chiseled fellow, and the Korean Guy makes...something...that he offers to people and no one but Knocked-Up-Chick takes (it makes her baby kick).
And so the adventure continues.
Oh and they kill a polar bear (hey how 'bout that as a food source? huh? huh?).
Right now let me tell you what they need to do. Should you miraculously survive a horrible plane crash and wake up in New Zealand, you should
1) Perform triage. Put the dead folk far away, so a) you don't have to look at them and freak out, b) should you get rescued they won't be messed up too much, c) should you not get rescued they'll all be there so all you have to do is throw some dirt and rocks on them.
2) Skill and object inventory. Find out who knows how to do what and what all you have. Send nature-knowing people into the woods for recon and food-gathering and the grunts to constructing some sort of shelter. All clothing and food items should be rationed equally.
3) Construct base-camp and organize hunting and cooking crews.
4) When you figure out the coast guard ain't coming, assign recon teams. Make contact schedules--give people a week--three and a half days to look around, three and a half to get back. Should you have to evacuate, have a pre-arranged subtle code in effect for new location(s).
5) If you're lucky some of you will survive. If not you will all die. Good luck!
