More Moodiness

I can't believe I have a four day weekend coming up and nothing to do. I really wish I could've gone home or something but I couldn't get tickets (yes, bad planning on my part). It would've been very short anyway, annoyingly so for the hassle, and for all I know my family would be going to FL anyway, but I still feel lonely that pretty much everyone I know will be with loved ones except me. Hopefully some more Netflix movies will be here Saturday and Sunday I may treat myself to a movie or something.

Maybe it's just as well I'll be alone, I feel like I'd be horrible company right now. I'm sure some of this is just early PMS but a lot of it is just still being upset over Scott and completely unsure what to do or what he really wants. (I'm sorry, but, well, okay, does a guy *really* send you what for him is a long email talking about how much he misses you, but still saying he did the right thing, but go on about you and ask about what you're doing, and there truly be 0 interest involved? I mean it'd be one thing if this was a months years long relationship, but we went out officially for like three weeks, plus three more weeks prior to that in a more than friendly way? Or is my relationship history just so fucked up that I'm overreading what normal guys do?!) I want to call him, but I want to know it's actually okay to call, and well, I guess I'm just afraid he thinks that/I just plain am some weird freak. On top of all of that angst last night I had a deeply worrisome dream about him, too, which does not soothe my freak-fears in the least!

So yeah, bored, lonely, and moody, dat me.

And Now I'm Really Freaked!

Got an email from Andrew, who says he wants to phone me sometime (poor ninny has to sneak around the Beastwife with when he communicates with outsiders etc). The unfortunate thing is that on average (and largely with the exception of graduations), he only calls with bad news. I have no idea what could've happened...well I have a few panicky ideas involving familial deaths and various other emotional catastrophes, but still!

NYARF!

And Another Thing!

So email from Andrew and no one's dead, thank god. But Scott of all people called and asked if I wanted to go with him to the American Folklife Festival on Saturday and I was flabbergasted and said okay. He sounded as happy as could be, as if the last month hadn't happened. I still feel funny and shaky. WTF?! I immediately tried calling people, Jim was AWOL, but I managed to get Carolynn and she says it's perfectly normal to do things with exes provided they aren't creeps (always good advice). I just feel beyond weird and fully plan to ask what he wants from me. A part of me thinks that having been without him, life is too miserable, and another thinks that it'd be still more painful just to be a good old girl and act like nothing's wrong when I've been in so much pain and have the potential for so much more. ARGH!!