![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caitriHerewith friends, let the record show that on today, the 9th of August 2010, a new and landmark understanding of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings was reached in the bowels of The Wicked Awesome Library & Archives, specifically within the Administrative Suite, at the hour of 1:05 pm, by Lyndsey, Todd, and Cait.
This discovery took place just outside the Director’s office, and lo it was fortunate that he wasn’t actually there, but was in fact out to lunch, which was a really good thing considering there was a lot of cackling and cussing involved.
~
It started off with a discussion of why Éowyn and Faramir would hook up:
TODD: I mean, it doesn’t make sense, right? You have the most badass woman in the book, and…Faramir.
CAIT: The guy with the daddy issues.
LYNDSEY: Well, really, it made sense for her to end up with the most badass guy in the book, who was Aragorn, but he was, y’know, taken and all.
CAIT: And Éomer’s other most badass guy, but he was, y’know, her brother.
TODD: Éomer was not badass—
CAIT AND LYNDSEY: YES HE WAS!
LYNDSEY: The Rohirrim are the most badass Men in the books!
CAIT: It’s all those decades of fighting off the encroaching Orcs and Saruman and all—
LYNDSEY: And they’re riding around on the plains, saying “Fuck you, Gondor!”
CAIT: Bad. Ass.
LYNDSEY: Totally.
TODD: Okay, fine, so Éomer’s badass—
LYNDSEY: Yes.
CAIT: Thank you.
TODD: --and that only really leaves the Elf and the Dwarf, and she couldn’t pick one of those.
LYNDSEY: I would’ve picked the Elf.
TODD: And he would have said, “Thank you” and then “Oh look, here come a hundred thirteen-year-olds to admire me.”
LYNDSEY: So, yeah, Faramir.
TODD: So Faramir, ever the class act, hit her up in a hospital.
LYNDSEY: And what did that conversation go like?
TODD: (baritone) My Dad runs this place and tried to kill me. (falsetto) I killed the Witch King. (baritone) So I know this awesome soldier’s bar down the street…
And then it became a matter of unpacking all the family relationships involved:
CAIT: So it’s like a footnote in the books that Denethor’s wife kinda had a thing for young Aragorn, back when he was running around with Théngol and all.
TODD: So wait, you’re saying that Aragorn could be Boromir’s Dad??
CAIT: Well I wasn’t before, but come to think of it--
LYNDSEY: It explains a lot now!
TODD: The intense resentment with Aragorn—
LYNDSEY: Why Denethor has a really warped relationship with his sons—
CAIT: Aragorn kissing Boromir and crying in the movies—
LYNDSEY: I think we’re on to something here.
TODD: Let’s think this through though. Because he really loved Boromir, who was all big and manly and badass, while Faramir was all scrawny and wimpy—
CAIT: Still hot though. (pause) I’m just sayin’.
LYNDSEY: Well then it becomes like a self-loathing issue, too, because Denethor wasn’t badass—
TODD: So he really hated Faramir because it reminded him of himself, while Boromir was like Aragorn, which adds this whole new messed-up aspect to the thing…
LYNDSEY: Wow.
CAIT: Dude.
TODD: Everything about that last book makes way more sense now.
This discovery took place just outside the Director’s office, and lo it was fortunate that he wasn’t actually there, but was in fact out to lunch, which was a really good thing considering there was a lot of cackling and cussing involved.
~
It started off with a discussion of why Éowyn and Faramir would hook up:
TODD: I mean, it doesn’t make sense, right? You have the most badass woman in the book, and…Faramir.
CAIT: The guy with the daddy issues.
LYNDSEY: Well, really, it made sense for her to end up with the most badass guy in the book, who was Aragorn, but he was, y’know, taken and all.
CAIT: And Éomer’s other most badass guy, but he was, y’know, her brother.
TODD: Éomer was not badass—
CAIT AND LYNDSEY: YES HE WAS!
LYNDSEY: The Rohirrim are the most badass Men in the books!
CAIT: It’s all those decades of fighting off the encroaching Orcs and Saruman and all—
LYNDSEY: And they’re riding around on the plains, saying “Fuck you, Gondor!”
CAIT: Bad. Ass.
LYNDSEY: Totally.
TODD: Okay, fine, so Éomer’s badass—
LYNDSEY: Yes.
CAIT: Thank you.
TODD: --and that only really leaves the Elf and the Dwarf, and she couldn’t pick one of those.
LYNDSEY: I would’ve picked the Elf.
TODD: And he would have said, “Thank you” and then “Oh look, here come a hundred thirteen-year-olds to admire me.”
LYNDSEY: So, yeah, Faramir.
TODD: So Faramir, ever the class act, hit her up in a hospital.
LYNDSEY: And what did that conversation go like?
TODD: (baritone) My Dad runs this place and tried to kill me. (falsetto) I killed the Witch King. (baritone) So I know this awesome soldier’s bar down the street…
And then it became a matter of unpacking all the family relationships involved:
CAIT: So it’s like a footnote in the books that Denethor’s wife kinda had a thing for young Aragorn, back when he was running around with Théngol and all.
TODD: So wait, you’re saying that Aragorn could be Boromir’s Dad??
CAIT: Well I wasn’t before, but come to think of it--
LYNDSEY: It explains a lot now!
TODD: The intense resentment with Aragorn—
LYNDSEY: Why Denethor has a really warped relationship with his sons—
CAIT: Aragorn kissing Boromir and crying in the movies—
LYNDSEY: I think we’re on to something here.
TODD: Let’s think this through though. Because he really loved Boromir, who was all big and manly and badass, while Faramir was all scrawny and wimpy—
CAIT: Still hot though. (pause) I’m just sayin’.
LYNDSEY: Well then it becomes like a self-loathing issue, too, because Denethor wasn’t badass—
TODD: So he really hated Faramir because it reminded him of himself, while Boromir was like Aragorn, which adds this whole new messed-up aspect to the thing…
LYNDSEY: Wow.
CAIT: Dude.
TODD: Everything about that last book makes way more sense now.
