Good News!

[caitri]

Scott got his first job offer today--a two year position at Rochester University in upstate NY. They're also willing to see about getting us a twofer. Scott's going to wait and evaluate all his options but I think NY sounds a hella lot better than Texas or Sweden (yes he wanted to go to Sweden, don't ask me why). I also used one of those salary calculators and apparently cost of living is 41.8% cheaper in Rochester than in DC, which is very good news indeed!

~~

Finally got in the mail that Bridal Bargains book Karen recommended to me ages ago (Thanks, K!). I've been reading it this afternoon and it makes an excellent de-stresser--morbid girl that I am, I've been loading up on all the wedding horror stories that Indiebride and TheKnot have to offer in an attempt to know what to look out for. I've also been reading TheNest to try to prepare myself for what married life entails, and discussing it with Scott. For instance, a recurring theme in a lot of what I've read is that guys sort of expect to be cooked for/looked after more after marriage even if the wives never cooked before marriage! It seems very weird to me, but I want to sort of get a handle on what we could be in for.

I've also been bemused by a number of the "feminism debates" on the aforementioned websites. I use quotation marks because some of it seems so bizarre, for instance, a post by a woman who was preparing to be married but took fierce umbrage at the word "wife" etc. I go with the whole, "feminism means choice, which means that whatever you WANT is cool."

Anyhow, /ramble.

Comments

[100wordspermin.livejournal.com]

Glad you're enjoying the book. I found it uberhelpful and extremely practical in an industry inundated with capitalizing on peoples emotions.

Apparently some women find themselves falling into the fifties housewife mentality after marriage; it's a role shift even if you lived together before the official government sanctioning. A lot of us saw our moms do it, because they saw their moms do it, etc., etc. I'm trying to stay concious of it, too.

And I did the same thing, cruising all the sites to see what might possibly derail us at any given point. The good news is that whatever you're imagining probably isn't as bad as some of the horror stories that are posted, and talking it over with your guy is the best and most effective deterrent.

Well, that and a sense of humor ;)

[caitri.livejournal.com]

One of the more bizarre stories was I think from Indiebride, where a newlywed woman threw a dinner party and had decorated a cake, and everyone made fun of her for "regressing" or whatever, and she subsequently had an identity crisis. My response would've been "Um, yeah, so if you think it's so bad, you don't *have* to eat any of this cake then, do you?" and then carted the cake back to the kitchen until everyone apologized. Cos, I'm evil like that. ;)

Oh totally randomly, someone left a copy of the Thanksgiving issue of Martha Stewart Living magazine in my building's laundry room, and the main article was about Martha's country-style Thanksgiving lunch--in her five horse stable in CT! Dude, that stable was nicer than most apartments I've ever seen! And I still wanna know if it smelled like horsies and manure (like most stables) ir if Martha had taught all her horsies to use the toilet and they all had toilets in the stables. Okay, /digression...