So that's the end

[caitri]

Had my big meeting at LC, which went well, and then there was the main event of the day, My Last Lunch With Andrew, which is a bit like the Last Supper with Jesus but with Judas Iscariot at the best spot at the table and having a chili-cheeseburger.

Um yeah.

It was unbelievably disappointing. How else to explain being with one of my best friends for what may be the last time ever, a man whom I've more or less been in love with since I was fifteen, and finding we have nothing to say to each other, and what we do say is more or less meaningless?

I think I should be in some way relieved, and maybe I am, but it's just, crap, is that all? A hug, a hotdog, a book, goodbye? Don't I deserve a little more than that?

"That's just what I felt like in grad school." Um, no. As I recall, your best friend did not run off and knock up some chick and get shotgun married, did he?

I gave him the meds back too. Only legit stuff for me from now on. No more marching Christmas kitties hallucinations for me, thanks.

Witness me on the straight and narrow. Well more or less. Following my heart sounds nice, but clearly my heart has shit for brains.

Grr. Argh.