Trying Not To

By this point I'm two-thirds convinced Scott just thinks I'm a freak and I'll never hear from him again, which kind of pisses me off as I want to get that book I loaned him back and then give him back the stuff he gave me. (I'm also working up the courage to delete the photos and MP3s he gave me, which will be harder, as he was an excellent photographer and I like Green Day and Metallica.)

I know, I need to stop whining and stop thinking how things could change so much so quickly (how can someone miss you on a Wednsday but not want to be with you on a Friday?) or remembering the favorite bits (drawing letters in the sand and watching sunsets).

So I'm just calling a stop to it for a few hours today by going to see a movie and have ice cream this afternoon. I'm going to go by myself and I'm going to have a good time, dammit.

The End.

Scott and I are officially over tonight. He doesn't want to be friends, and he never meant to hurt me, but he just "knew we weren't going to work out." I'm deleting files and stuff, and am not sure what to do with the things he gave me (he doesn't want me to return them, I don't want to look and remember good things that won't be).

Part of me knows none of it's my fault, and part of me just feels horrible and freakish and wrong, and wants to hide forever.

I know I'll get over it, and it'll take time. I just hate it when good things happen so briefly.