![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Flailing, Continued, Abated
Dec. 16th, 2018 03:29 pmI got a number of things done this weekend that have gotten me to calm down significantly (I was near tears several times the last couple days. It was A Week.). I successfully did xmas shopping (mostly gift certificates and fruit baskets, but that counts, right?) and I packed up the better part of my closet (3 bags of things to be moved, 3 boxes of things to be donated, a pile of things thrown out).
I have received several Christmas cards. I always wonder how people send Christmas cards, which sounds dumb, but like...how do people maintain lists of addresses, and fill things out, and stuff. (Obviously people are better organized than me, but still. I wanna be an adult one day.) I also got a series of texts from my sisters who were making and decorating cookies, and felt tremendous envy.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to finish dissertation revisions. They go slowly. I recognize that slowly but steadily is fine, great even, but it is still a struggle. Basically I am uber-stressed and demoralized despite myself, though I recognize that everything is in my head. (Text from Todd the other night: Look, we're behind on everything too, and we don't even have good reasons like you do.)
This is where I'd like to sit down in front of the tv with a frothing mug of something and watch christmas movies, except those don't really even appeal to me because I'm broken, so I'm reading Supernatural fanfic instead.
I have received several Christmas cards. I always wonder how people send Christmas cards, which sounds dumb, but like...how do people maintain lists of addresses, and fill things out, and stuff. (Obviously people are better organized than me, but still. I wanna be an adult one day.) I also got a series of texts from my sisters who were making and decorating cookies, and felt tremendous envy.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to finish dissertation revisions. They go slowly. I recognize that slowly but steadily is fine, great even, but it is still a struggle. Basically I am uber-stressed and demoralized despite myself, though I recognize that everything is in my head. (Text from Todd the other night: Look, we're behind on everything too, and we don't even have good reasons like you do.)
This is where I'd like to sit down in front of the tv with a frothing mug of something and watch christmas movies, except those don't really even appeal to me because I'm broken, so I'm reading Supernatural fanfic instead.
