Snarky Ranty Letter I Will Never Send

[caitri]

Dear Grad Student on FB,

Let's be clear about something. I'm an exceedingly nice and brilliant person, some of which you are likely aware of but probably not with the full context. You see, while I am also a grad student right now, I also used to be a tenured professor at an R-1 institution. I also got tenure at the age of thirty. In short, I am not only really fucking smart, but I know my shit at a level that most people never even get to reach.

So when you decide to talk about journal publications and articles, and I point out a factual history as to why some things are the way they are, and you decide to get snarky? You look like the foolish little boy you are.

Because sweetie? We might be the same age, and we might be in the same program, but--I'm still a journal editor with some fifteen articles out there, and you aren't. So maybe if I deign to tell you things, you should consider listening. At the end of the day, you're not All That.

But I am.

Love,
me