caitri | Dawns are Gray

Lately I've just been waking up around 4am and pretty much staying that way. I try to meditate to calm down but usually remain jingly-jangly from bad dreams. Last night's was the funny sort where you are freaked out but then when you look at it rationally it was pretty funny: basically I had to go back to my old school AND watch the earth get destroyed (it was like gravity broke and everything was vacuumed off the planet before it imploded, and somehow Transformers were involved...).

Anyhow so I've spent the last three and some hours listening to the birds talk outside the window. I'm too tired to make breakfast but I'm taking a granola bar to work with me and promise to buy something good for lunch there--no more Old Habits for me.

I'm telling myself this is the last time I'm going to be hurt, dammit.