caitri | Something Like Calm

In the wake of multiple people telling me don't go home for Xmas because my family is horrible, Nature threw us an Out with the artic bomb cyclone. We said fuckit, went to the zoo of a grocery store to buy food, and have been hunkering down quietly. So far no real guilt trips from the fam, although when I shared the anecdote about -11 outside being enough to make Scott put on a balaclava and gloves to shovel snow, my asshat brother commented that "Yankees deserve the cold." Elder sister reproved him and then shared more pics of her new grandbaby in Ohio. I am so glad to not having to sit through this in person, it is annoying enough by phone.

I started therapy after Thanksgiving. It's pretty validating to explain and vent my stressors. There's a few things I am struggling even to myself about how to talk about, because years of accumulated feels, but I hope I can get there. I always feel like such a mess of a human, although Todd says I am usually not nearly as much of a mess as I think I am. (Me, internally: You only see the tip of the iceberg, pal.)

Anyways, at least I can enjoy an actual vacation now, I guess.