Continuing If-Then Calculus
Mar. 5th, 2023 06:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
caitriInsurance decided to dick me over and so medical stuff I had planned on is being postponed so my doctor can argue with Aetna's doctor this week about what's best for me. What this also means is that in the absence of certainty I've withdrawn from my favorite conference where I was looking forward to seeing a ton of friends for the first time in four years and I am so disappointed about it.
I've also had to have several difficult conversations at work because they need to be had and I'm one of only a few who will say things out loud, like calling attention to how other people are running roughshod with remote schedules and so taking advantage of the few who remain onsite, or pointing out that a colleague is Not where she needs to be in her progress. ("You sound worried." "I AM worried!") In passing I learned a new word, parrhesis, "candid speech, speaking freely. It implies not only freedom of speech, but the obligation to speak the truth for the common good, even at personal risk." I've reminded myself of this every time I've caught myself feeling guilty about trying to fix things at work, because some people are Not Gonna Be Happy if anything actually gets done, and while I like certain coworkers personally, as colleagues they are not acting for the communal good and it is showing. Humans are such messy, messy creatures and exhausting and this is why I like my books.
We've also been doing our annual spring cleaning. We bought a dish cabinet to hold the china Mom gave us last summer that had been sitting still packed since, and Scott spent the afternoon assembling it and then we put it all away. Last weekend we ordered a new loveseat to go in our living room that is going to expand our ability to have people over--our old couch doesn't sit more than three--and this is exciting.
Scott's going on a trip next weekend; historically every time he's traveled in the spring we've had a snow dump, so we'll see what happens.
I am behind on so many things, and just trying to be patient with myself and be as methodical as possible. I'm not sure how it always happens that I promise myself I'll be responsible and not say yes to everything, and then all the same I just end up with a ton of things to do...
I've also had to have several difficult conversations at work because they need to be had and I'm one of only a few who will say things out loud, like calling attention to how other people are running roughshod with remote schedules and so taking advantage of the few who remain onsite, or pointing out that a colleague is Not where she needs to be in her progress. ("You sound worried." "I AM worried!") In passing I learned a new word, parrhesis, "candid speech, speaking freely. It implies not only freedom of speech, but the obligation to speak the truth for the common good, even at personal risk." I've reminded myself of this every time I've caught myself feeling guilty about trying to fix things at work, because some people are Not Gonna Be Happy if anything actually gets done, and while I like certain coworkers personally, as colleagues they are not acting for the communal good and it is showing. Humans are such messy, messy creatures and exhausting and this is why I like my books.
We've also been doing our annual spring cleaning. We bought a dish cabinet to hold the china Mom gave us last summer that had been sitting still packed since, and Scott spent the afternoon assembling it and then we put it all away. Last weekend we ordered a new loveseat to go in our living room that is going to expand our ability to have people over--our old couch doesn't sit more than three--and this is exciting.
Scott's going on a trip next weekend; historically every time he's traveled in the spring we've had a snow dump, so we'll see what happens.
I am behind on so many things, and just trying to be patient with myself and be as methodical as possible. I'm not sure how it always happens that I promise myself I'll be responsible and not say yes to everything, and then all the same I just end up with a ton of things to do...
(no subject)
Date: 2023-03-06 04:43 am (UTC)That's rotten. I'm sorry.
This is a very fien word, not least because it makes me uncomfortable. May I use it as a prompt in an upcoming writing session? I would credit you.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-03-06 04:50 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2023-03-06 05:25 am (UTC)I do not know the book! Do you recommend it?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-03-06 05:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2023-03-06 06:05 am (UTC)