caitri: (Default)
It really should be five minutes because the movie just doesn't warrant fifteen minutes, but it turns out I have a lot of venom to spew. It makes 300 look like a meticulously researched historical epic.

It's 460 AD. Insert brief and nauseating history of Rome, starting with a badass sword specially forged for Julius Caesar. It has a pentangle on it and whoever has it rules. Or something. It was lost after the last of Caesar's line, Tiberius dies.

Scott: Um, the last of the Julio-Claudians was actually Nero...

Tiberius was the last emperor with dignity, a great man of poetry and blah blah.

ME: Do whaa?

SCOTT: Oh we're in trouble...

THE LAST LEGION

Read more... )
caitri: (Default)
I laughed so hard I cried while Scott groused and wanted to leave. He thoroughly hated it while I find it thoroughly MST3Ksable. Like, seriously, when it comes out on DVD we should have a party. Short short review: Starship Troopers: The Ancient Years!.

As it is, here is my fifteen minute version, cut so as to remove "spoilers" for those who don't want them(I say this in the exact same tone I referred to the ending of Titanic lo those many moons ago.

Read more... )

No, I didn't exaggerate either. You may forward this if you give me credit.

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caitri

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